A Shopping Adventure As Told By Cassie
Sep. 27th, 2003 08:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
person4I've probably mentioned before (and certainly meant to several times if I didn't) I bike to the store when I go to it in the morning. I won't later in the day, the grocery stores I go to are both on the busiest road in town and heavy traffic frightens me. The one I always go to with the bike can be gotten to by a backway around the high school (which means I usually go there between five and six in the morning, as heavy high school traffic is even more frightening then adult traffic) but that way is almost all uphill on the way back, and when I'm burdened down with grocery bags I don't want to deal with any more hassles so I return along the busy road.
These trips always start by me browsing All Recipes and finding something that I must make now (in this case Ooey-Gooey Cinnamon Buns) and rushing off to get any ingredients I need, one of which is almost always eggs. I always start out in a good mood, even though the woods I live in are really creepy in the early morning when the sun hasn't risen, the moon's out of sight, and visibility is zero on the majority of the way through. I can't really bike this part, I need to keep a foot on the ground to keep from running off the road (and usually do so at least once anyway). During this period I'm usually terrified of stepping on a snake, which is pretty stupid since I have no problem doing that during the day in my barefeet if I'm not paying attention to where I'm going. Things are just more frightening in the pitch black.
Thankfully since todays a Saturday I don't need to worry about biking through the crowded highschool area and can wait until it's light enough out to see. On the downside, it was raining heavily yesterday, which results in the creatures that strike life-interfering horror into my life rising to the surface: Worms. I won't be able to walk outside today, but safely elevated above the ground on my bike I can force myself forward as long as I don't look at the ground. Which, of course, means that I can't tear my eyes away from the asphault. Before I reach my first turn I'm crying tears of fear but it's become a matter of pride, dammit, and I'm not going to let a phobia that I know is stupid keep me from my sticky buns. Thank god that you can turn your mind off to pedal though, otherwise I'd probably currently be a gibbering mess huddled in a tree somewhere until someone decided to come look for me. I should give equal thanks for having decided to keep from going until it was light, because if I'd let my feet touch the ground then saw what was there in the dim light of the rising sun on my way back I would have needed to burn my shoes and then scrub the skin off my feet.
Sadly I was unable to enjoy the ride because of this. I forced my way to the store and have my moment of self-contiousness when I take off my helmet and my hair feels disgusting even though when I run my fingers through it I can feel the fact that, no, it's not really sweaty at all and it's not sticking to the side of my head. Plus I know my cheeks are red, I'm a little out of breath (worse because my lungs tend to have trouble with air that's not nice and warm), and since it's colder then it was all summer my nose's running a bit, and my eyes are probably red and puffy from the cry, which thankfully stops quickly now that the worms are out of sight. It's strange how the rest of the day I don't give a damn what I look like, but fresh off the bike at a store that there're only about three people in (including and honest to god creepy janitor who works the night shift! He looks like a Scooby Doo villain! Or Riff Raff! Just for existing outside of a cartoon I wish to have his babies) I get hit sudden cases of vanity. Maybe it's because you expect people who're shopping at the time of day to be a creep or a weirdo and I want to prove that "I'm not a nutcase! I just look like this because I've been getting healthy exercise! Yeah, before the sun comes up, but I'm still perfectly normal!"
I wander around grabbing cooking supplies. Staff members keep passing by and staring at me like they expect me to rob them blind. In the baking section. "Gasp! Guard the sweetened condensed milk! I think she's after the... Oh God, not the spices! Get your hands off our flour you hussy!" Thank you for making me feel like such a valued customer.
Check out. Eggs must go in a seperate bag because the way back is bumpy and if they shatter I don't want them to ruin everything else. Once I got up there and found that my pocket was empty of the money I'd grabbed. Very very embarressing. Even more so when I went out and found it scattered all over around the bike where it had fallen out of my way to shallow pockets when I checked to make sure it was still there after getting off. At least that meant that I hadn't been crazy to think I'd had it, but then I came in just as the woman finished putting everything back, had to get all my stuff again, go through her lane again since she was the only cashier both on duty and at her station, and apologise another five-hundred times for being such a bother. I also always grab way to much money, because I'm terrified of bringing to little when I'm a couple of miles away from all the rest of my cash. Since I just grab what I really need it never comes to that much, the most I've ever spent on a morning excrusion was actually today which was just $12.01. I brought $45.00. Just in case.
Purchases made I do the same stupid thing I always do and try to go out the wrong door. See, the other big grocery store (and the one I always go to normally) has it's automatic doors set up so the entrance and exit are reverse from what they are at this store. I never have any problems when I'm coming in, but whenever I leave I try to go out the wrong door. And when I actually remember the right way I stop to look at what's currently in the gumball machines and try to go out the wrong one of the second set of door. I'm just so clever like that.
At this point I'm always afraid that either I'll find my bike was stolen or someone will think I'm stealing it when I leave. I have a chain and lock that would take care of both these problems, but there's no bike rack, the overhang's pillars are too wide to wrap the chain around, and the picnic table's to much of a hassle. Plus, when I do bother with the picnic table I'm afraid someone will take the ugly purple helmet. I'm just paranoid.
Arrange the bags. I never remember to get a bike basket when I'm somewhere they're available so the bags dangle from my wrists, getting in my way and making my wrists hurt. Thankfully I've pretty much gotten the hang of it by now, I just need to be careful going over big bumps. Come to the stoplight where I turn off busy road, there's a dead raccoon in the right turn lane. I think it's just a stupid (if surprisingly intact) animal that wandered into the road and got smushed, then look down while passing and see that there's twine tied around it's neck. The reason it's still whole (other then, I now see, torn up legs) when it should have treadmarks down it center become clear, some sick asshole decided it would be fun to tie the poor thing to his (or someone he knows') bumper and go for a ride. You mother-fucking bastard! If I knew who you were I'd tie you to my goddamned bumper and take off before you had a chance to gnaw yourself free, and who'd be laughing then? While I'm not a fan of "an eye for an eye" when it's person against person, I'd fully support it against animal abusers, at least in cases of things like this. While I'm not an animal rights activist by any stretch of the word things like this just boil my blood, especially since I had a pet raccoon for awhile when I was a kid.
Bike bike bike. Some asshole screams at me to get on the sidewalk. Thank you for that kind suggestion, but that's illegal jerk. While I might just do it anyway if it was later in the day when the road I'm on at the time gets almost as busy as busy road, at the time this guy was the only car in eyesight on the road plus I hug the curb so closely that my foot scrapes it on the downpedal, so he has no right to complain. Clearly whatever good mood I had starting out on this trip during my favorite time of day for biking has completely vanished by now, and I hate that since I really do love early morning bike rides normally.
Get back to the road that becomes my road and... god, the worms again. I seriously consider turning into the driveway of a friend who lives at the end of the road and waking up him and his entire family to beg for sanctuary until the sun's at least dried out the worms so they aren't all thick and gooey and some have had their innards explode when cars ran over them and others are moving and I'm going to throw up if I don't stop thinking about this. Or see if I could get a ride home. But, terror or no terror, I'm not inconsiderate enough to do that, especially since at this point home is really close, just down the road (most of it downhill so I don't even need to pedal) and through the woods.
So I get home, I check to make sure the eggs aren't cracked and put them in the fridge, and then I die. Or, rather, I get online and write this whole thing up, since I wasn't in the mood for cooking anymore and needed to wait until the memory of the not-happy bike ride wasn't so fresh to get on with it.
Now I'm going to go take a shower because biking does always make me feel a bit grimy plus I'm really cold and could use the warm. If anyone else is interested in the cinnamon buns I'll post a note on how they came out after I'm done making them, ok?
These trips always start by me browsing All Recipes and finding something that I must make now (in this case Ooey-Gooey Cinnamon Buns) and rushing off to get any ingredients I need, one of which is almost always eggs. I always start out in a good mood, even though the woods I live in are really creepy in the early morning when the sun hasn't risen, the moon's out of sight, and visibility is zero on the majority of the way through. I can't really bike this part, I need to keep a foot on the ground to keep from running off the road (and usually do so at least once anyway). During this period I'm usually terrified of stepping on a snake, which is pretty stupid since I have no problem doing that during the day in my barefeet if I'm not paying attention to where I'm going. Things are just more frightening in the pitch black.
Thankfully since todays a Saturday I don't need to worry about biking through the crowded highschool area and can wait until it's light enough out to see. On the downside, it was raining heavily yesterday, which results in the creatures that strike life-interfering horror into my life rising to the surface: Worms. I won't be able to walk outside today, but safely elevated above the ground on my bike I can force myself forward as long as I don't look at the ground. Which, of course, means that I can't tear my eyes away from the asphault. Before I reach my first turn I'm crying tears of fear but it's become a matter of pride, dammit, and I'm not going to let a phobia that I know is stupid keep me from my sticky buns. Thank god that you can turn your mind off to pedal though, otherwise I'd probably currently be a gibbering mess huddled in a tree somewhere until someone decided to come look for me. I should give equal thanks for having decided to keep from going until it was light, because if I'd let my feet touch the ground then saw what was there in the dim light of the rising sun on my way back I would have needed to burn my shoes and then scrub the skin off my feet.
Sadly I was unable to enjoy the ride because of this. I forced my way to the store and have my moment of self-contiousness when I take off my helmet and my hair feels disgusting even though when I run my fingers through it I can feel the fact that, no, it's not really sweaty at all and it's not sticking to the side of my head. Plus I know my cheeks are red, I'm a little out of breath (worse because my lungs tend to have trouble with air that's not nice and warm), and since it's colder then it was all summer my nose's running a bit, and my eyes are probably red and puffy from the cry, which thankfully stops quickly now that the worms are out of sight. It's strange how the rest of the day I don't give a damn what I look like, but fresh off the bike at a store that there're only about three people in (including and honest to god creepy janitor who works the night shift! He looks like a Scooby Doo villain! Or Riff Raff! Just for existing outside of a cartoon I wish to have his babies) I get hit sudden cases of vanity. Maybe it's because you expect people who're shopping at the time of day to be a creep or a weirdo and I want to prove that "I'm not a nutcase! I just look like this because I've been getting healthy exercise! Yeah, before the sun comes up, but I'm still perfectly normal!"
I wander around grabbing cooking supplies. Staff members keep passing by and staring at me like they expect me to rob them blind. In the baking section. "Gasp! Guard the sweetened condensed milk! I think she's after the... Oh God, not the spices! Get your hands off our flour you hussy!" Thank you for making me feel like such a valued customer.
Check out. Eggs must go in a seperate bag because the way back is bumpy and if they shatter I don't want them to ruin everything else. Once I got up there and found that my pocket was empty of the money I'd grabbed. Very very embarressing. Even more so when I went out and found it scattered all over around the bike where it had fallen out of my way to shallow pockets when I checked to make sure it was still there after getting off. At least that meant that I hadn't been crazy to think I'd had it, but then I came in just as the woman finished putting everything back, had to get all my stuff again, go through her lane again since she was the only cashier both on duty and at her station, and apologise another five-hundred times for being such a bother. I also always grab way to much money, because I'm terrified of bringing to little when I'm a couple of miles away from all the rest of my cash. Since I just grab what I really need it never comes to that much, the most I've ever spent on a morning excrusion was actually today which was just $12.01. I brought $45.00. Just in case.
Purchases made I do the same stupid thing I always do and try to go out the wrong door. See, the other big grocery store (and the one I always go to normally) has it's automatic doors set up so the entrance and exit are reverse from what they are at this store. I never have any problems when I'm coming in, but whenever I leave I try to go out the wrong door. And when I actually remember the right way I stop to look at what's currently in the gumball machines and try to go out the wrong one of the second set of door. I'm just so clever like that.
At this point I'm always afraid that either I'll find my bike was stolen or someone will think I'm stealing it when I leave. I have a chain and lock that would take care of both these problems, but there's no bike rack, the overhang's pillars are too wide to wrap the chain around, and the picnic table's to much of a hassle. Plus, when I do bother with the picnic table I'm afraid someone will take the ugly purple helmet. I'm just paranoid.
Arrange the bags. I never remember to get a bike basket when I'm somewhere they're available so the bags dangle from my wrists, getting in my way and making my wrists hurt. Thankfully I've pretty much gotten the hang of it by now, I just need to be careful going over big bumps. Come to the stoplight where I turn off busy road, there's a dead raccoon in the right turn lane. I think it's just a stupid (if surprisingly intact) animal that wandered into the road and got smushed, then look down while passing and see that there's twine tied around it's neck. The reason it's still whole (other then, I now see, torn up legs) when it should have treadmarks down it center become clear, some sick asshole decided it would be fun to tie the poor thing to his (or someone he knows') bumper and go for a ride. You mother-fucking bastard! If I knew who you were I'd tie you to my goddamned bumper and take off before you had a chance to gnaw yourself free, and who'd be laughing then? While I'm not a fan of "an eye for an eye" when it's person against person, I'd fully support it against animal abusers, at least in cases of things like this. While I'm not an animal rights activist by any stretch of the word things like this just boil my blood, especially since I had a pet raccoon for awhile when I was a kid.
Bike bike bike. Some asshole screams at me to get on the sidewalk. Thank you for that kind suggestion, but that's illegal jerk. While I might just do it anyway if it was later in the day when the road I'm on at the time gets almost as busy as busy road, at the time this guy was the only car in eyesight on the road plus I hug the curb so closely that my foot scrapes it on the downpedal, so he has no right to complain. Clearly whatever good mood I had starting out on this trip during my favorite time of day for biking has completely vanished by now, and I hate that since I really do love early morning bike rides normally.
Get back to the road that becomes my road and... god, the worms again. I seriously consider turning into the driveway of a friend who lives at the end of the road and waking up him and his entire family to beg for sanctuary until the sun's at least dried out the worms so they aren't all thick and gooey and some have had their innards explode when cars ran over them and others are moving and I'm going to throw up if I don't stop thinking about this. Or see if I could get a ride home. But, terror or no terror, I'm not inconsiderate enough to do that, especially since at this point home is really close, just down the road (most of it downhill so I don't even need to pedal) and through the woods.
So I get home, I check to make sure the eggs aren't cracked and put them in the fridge, and then I die. Or, rather, I get online and write this whole thing up, since I wasn't in the mood for cooking anymore and needed to wait until the memory of the not-happy bike ride wasn't so fresh to get on with it.
Now I'm going to go take a shower because biking does always make me feel a bit grimy plus I'm really cold and could use the warm. If anyone else is interested in the cinnamon buns I'll post a note on how they came out after I'm done making them, ok?
