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person4Title: Plants
Fandom: Red vs Blue
Characters: Donut, Simmons, and Grif
Notes: For June fic-a-day
In a place where there's not a damned thing to do except watch other people, acting furtive had just about the same effect as carrying around a bullhorn and screaming "Pay attention to me!" through it. In fact, it was probably even worse than that; the bullhorn just meant you were an attention whore, but trying to keep attention off yourself meant you had a secret that needed to be found out.
Unfortunately for Donut, he hadn't yet learned that lesson.
He'd hardly taken three steps back onto base after taking advantage of Sarge being off at some meeting for officers to get out for awhile when Simmons and Grif appeared from either side of him, even though he'd looked around at least five times to try making sure he was alone.
"Whatcha got there, Donut?" Grif asked before he could even think of trying to pretend he hadn't seen them approaching and make a break for his room.
"Just some... plants," he hedged.
"Plants," Simmons repeated.
"That's right. ...You know, after the last food drop-off was so late, I thought and try finding out of any of the plants around here are edible. For food!" He rubbed the back of his helmeted head and laughed nervously.
"So you're, what, going to shove random plants in your mouth and hope they don't poison you?" Simmons asked. "That has got to be the dumbest plan I've ever heard."
"I think I'll be okay if I just take a tiny bit at a time!" He shifted to keep his body between Simmons and the plants he was holding in his hand. Unfortunately, he forgot to keep track of where Grif was standing at the same time.
"Man, those aren't plants. They're flowers!"
"Flowers are plants!" Donut said defensively, finally giving up the ghost and holding the bouquet he'd picked for himself normally.
"So tell us, Donut, why instead of picking anything with, oh say, fruit you decided to try eating flowers?" Simmons asked.
"Well I... um... they..."
"You can't even think of a believable lie, can you?" Grif asked. "Damn, Donut, you are so gay."
"Hey, flowers can be manly!" Donut protested. "Like, did you know that in the language of flowers rhododendrons means danger? Danger is very masculine!"
"Jesus, Donut, I don't know which makes you more of a girl," Grif said, covering the face of his helmet with a hand, "the flowers, or the fact that you speak their language."
"I vote for the fact that he thought we'd think that was manly," Simmons added.
Donut frowned, even though he knew neither of them could see it. "Flower language could be really useful," he said. "You can pass all types of messages without anybody even noticing it."
"Oh yeah, real useful," Grif said. "Because it isn't like we're light-years away from Earth in a place where none of the plants from back home grow. Oh wait! Where the hell did you even find flowers out here anyway?"
"If you haven't seen them before, you just haven't looked hard enough."
"Hunting for flowers isn't exactly on top of our to-do list," Simmons said.
"So, flower language." Grif leaned towards the bouquet and yanked a flower that was entirely brown from blossom to stem out of it before Donut could stop him. "I guess since this one's the color of shit it must mean 'I stank up the bathroom'."
"It's very pretty, in its own way," Donut said defensively, but without much conviction. It really wasn't the most attractive in the bunch.
Simmons snatched a different one away, this one with a red stem and leaves and a puffball of a blue flower at the top. "And this one could mean that the blues are spying on us again."
"No way, man," Grif said, raising his hands as if to ward the flower off. "With how often they do that, we'd be passing the thing back and forth all the time. They'd think we're as gay as Donut!"
"Oh, shut up you jerks!" Donuts finally snapped, grabbing his flowers back from them. "So I thought it would be nice to have a little color in my room, so what? If you two can stop being twelve for a second, I'm going to go find a vase."
They watched him go, then Grif snorted, shaking his head. "Flower language. Man. What next, is he going to tell us he knows the language of frilly pink dresses so nobody can make fun of him if he shows up wearing them?"
Donut, too far to hear exactly what they were saying but able to sense the 'P-word' at five-hundred meters yelled back, "Light red!" and had no idea why they both began to laugh.
Fandom: Red vs Blue
Characters: Donut, Simmons, and Grif
Notes: For June fic-a-day
In a place where there's not a damned thing to do except watch other people, acting furtive had just about the same effect as carrying around a bullhorn and screaming "Pay attention to me!" through it. In fact, it was probably even worse than that; the bullhorn just meant you were an attention whore, but trying to keep attention off yourself meant you had a secret that needed to be found out.
Unfortunately for Donut, he hadn't yet learned that lesson.
He'd hardly taken three steps back onto base after taking advantage of Sarge being off at some meeting for officers to get out for awhile when Simmons and Grif appeared from either side of him, even though he'd looked around at least five times to try making sure he was alone.
"Whatcha got there, Donut?" Grif asked before he could even think of trying to pretend he hadn't seen them approaching and make a break for his room.
"Just some... plants," he hedged.
"Plants," Simmons repeated.
"That's right. ...You know, after the last food drop-off was so late, I thought and try finding out of any of the plants around here are edible. For food!" He rubbed the back of his helmeted head and laughed nervously.
"So you're, what, going to shove random plants in your mouth and hope they don't poison you?" Simmons asked. "That has got to be the dumbest plan I've ever heard."
"I think I'll be okay if I just take a tiny bit at a time!" He shifted to keep his body between Simmons and the plants he was holding in his hand. Unfortunately, he forgot to keep track of where Grif was standing at the same time.
"Man, those aren't plants. They're flowers!"
"Flowers are plants!" Donut said defensively, finally giving up the ghost and holding the bouquet he'd picked for himself normally.
"So tell us, Donut, why instead of picking anything with, oh say, fruit you decided to try eating flowers?" Simmons asked.
"Well I... um... they..."
"You can't even think of a believable lie, can you?" Grif asked. "Damn, Donut, you are so gay."
"Hey, flowers can be manly!" Donut protested. "Like, did you know that in the language of flowers rhododendrons means danger? Danger is very masculine!"
"Jesus, Donut, I don't know which makes you more of a girl," Grif said, covering the face of his helmet with a hand, "the flowers, or the fact that you speak their language."
"I vote for the fact that he thought we'd think that was manly," Simmons added.
Donut frowned, even though he knew neither of them could see it. "Flower language could be really useful," he said. "You can pass all types of messages without anybody even noticing it."
"Oh yeah, real useful," Grif said. "Because it isn't like we're light-years away from Earth in a place where none of the plants from back home grow. Oh wait! Where the hell did you even find flowers out here anyway?"
"If you haven't seen them before, you just haven't looked hard enough."
"Hunting for flowers isn't exactly on top of our to-do list," Simmons said.
"So, flower language." Grif leaned towards the bouquet and yanked a flower that was entirely brown from blossom to stem out of it before Donut could stop him. "I guess since this one's the color of shit it must mean 'I stank up the bathroom'."
"It's very pretty, in its own way," Donut said defensively, but without much conviction. It really wasn't the most attractive in the bunch.
Simmons snatched a different one away, this one with a red stem and leaves and a puffball of a blue flower at the top. "And this one could mean that the blues are spying on us again."
"No way, man," Grif said, raising his hands as if to ward the flower off. "With how often they do that, we'd be passing the thing back and forth all the time. They'd think we're as gay as Donut!"
"Oh, shut up you jerks!" Donuts finally snapped, grabbing his flowers back from them. "So I thought it would be nice to have a little color in my room, so what? If you two can stop being twelve for a second, I'm going to go find a vase."
They watched him go, then Grif snorted, shaking his head. "Flower language. Man. What next, is he going to tell us he knows the language of frilly pink dresses so nobody can make fun of him if he shows up wearing them?"
Donut, too far to hear exactly what they were saying but able to sense the 'P-word' at five-hundred meters yelled back, "Light red!" and had no idea why they both began to laugh.