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Sep. 22nd, 2010 11:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
person4So here it is, Mom's birthday.
Ever since I first realized that it was coming up I've wished that she could have survived long enough to see it, but right after I woke up this morning it hit me for the first time that it really wouldn't have been the best thing for her if she had, or for us. In my imagination I'd been seeing her birthday going the way it always had before, but really it would have meant her living through three extra months of pain and deterioration and I don't think she'd have been happy.
I think that she would have wished that she could have lived to see my brothers' birthday, which was less than a month after she'd died, but I think that if she were still here now she'd just be waiting for it to end.
Ever since I first realized that it was coming up I've wished that she could have survived long enough to see it, but right after I woke up this morning it hit me for the first time that it really wouldn't have been the best thing for her if she had, or for us. In my imagination I'd been seeing her birthday going the way it always had before, but really it would have meant her living through three extra months of pain and deterioration and I don't think she'd have been happy.
I think that she would have wished that she could have lived to see my brothers' birthday, which was less than a month after she'd died, but I think that if she were still here now she'd just be waiting for it to end.